All Year I Believed I was 36!
You may not believe this but, all year I had been telling people that I am thirty-six years of age. I had been preparing myself mentally for turning thirty-seven. I felt within that I wasn't yet ready to be thirty-seven. How had time flown by so quickly? I wasn't ready to, but I began learning to accept that I was turning thirty-seven on the fourteenth of October this year. Then it hit me. I'm usually quite content with turning a year older, perhaps I wasn't turning thirty-seven this year after all. As I did the mental math, I was horrified to discover that I had been telling folks all year that I was a year older than I actually am. How exactly, had I missed a whole year? It could only be due to one devastating fact. I had been overlooking my own needs and desires, at least, all year long.
As mothers and fathers, we tend to forget our own needs and desires on account of taking care of everyone else in the household. As an example, I always remember to purchase underclothes and personal products for my children however, I can never remember to purchase them for myself. It's only when I'm actually out of products and when my clothes are starting to tear apart that I finally do something. It never bothered me until months ago. I realized that as I was pouring my whole self into my children, my own life had been passing me by. And as the years rolled by, I felt it. I felt as if I were standing on the outside looking in. I kept telling myself, I'll accomplish this and that when the kids are older. I knew I absolutely had the stamina and motivation, not to mention patience to make it come to fruition later in life, but what a disservice to not only myself, but to my kids. I'm supposed to be their role model. Now is the time to make your dreams come true.
It's not about money, it's about you living a life that you'd be more than proud to look back on, years from now, and say, "I did that". If you're a writer, write today. If you're a chef, cook today. If you're an artist, create today. Don't wait for tomorrow, for tomorrow is never promised. As my kids left school for summer break, I realized how I had fell behind in my own personal life. Now, even though we adore, cherish, and basically, breathe our children, we have to find time for ourselves to be replenished so that we too can continue to flourish.
I made goals for this summer. I made it my goal to write two books that have been on my heart. In just two months time, I fully completed and published one, Lost In Tangles, which speaks of how I learned to accept my natural hair, and I'm now more than half way done with my first novel. It took a lot of late nights, as many times I had to wait until my children were asleep however, writing daily has even allowed me to start a website and blog of my own. My other passion is singing and lately, I have been writing songs like crazy, so I published them and am working on my second album. I have been extremely happy with life as of these two months. Do what you love. Don't believe that it takes a special person, it does not. I have four children, if I can do it, you can do it.
Just as someone quite smarter than I once said, Live your life as if you won't be here next week. Now what would you set out to accomplish, today?
Thank you so much for reading. If you would like to support my work, please donate, purchase my music, or my latest book.